it is now feb. so i have 5 months left till im kicked out n on my own... the lost of my family n of their support is not freakking me out so much nemore, i do have ahmed which good n things should be fine although i'm still affraid of whats gonna happen, i hate the "unknown" cuz im a planer, i like planing out my moves b4 i make them.. but now being some what rushed knowing i need to find a job soon, a not fail ne of my last 4 classes of high school is become stressful i have meds to start paying every month starting now which i dont have the money for yet {grr} n it just suxs when ppl wont pay what they promised u..(person will remain nameless) yes im trying not to freak out n kick start some movitation think positive (which is really hard to do mind u) start fresh with this new month n new sem. i have serious time management to do.. but good news i almost have thing under control, yes im eating more but its starting to show ooo well..i wish it was summer again so i can get back to my 200 laps/day...but i've deside to start working out at least one hour each morning b4 school i have the time soo y not...neway u know what i hate ..i hate pretending things dont bother me n needing to be strong when i feel weak, i guess im affraid that i'll need to be doing alot of that in the next few months but i guess not living here nemore will be good in a way: more freedom but no more reminders of what i'll be missing..my family my old friends...ya well ok..letting that go now or trying to neway..but its hard though..being alone is alot harder when ur on ur own, theres so much more to think about n worry about..neway..ok im done now.. its fine ..n everything will work out